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About Me

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'I am different , not less .' Temple Grandin A little introduction and a hello from me. What to say?  My name is Sarah and I am 37 years old.  I live in the North West of England and wanted a place to share my story. Having been diagnosed with autism as an adult, I wanted to share my experiences, trials and tribulations and of course the down right funny! So, you are thinking “If I keep reading, what’s in it for me?” " What journey will you take me on?" I want you to feel you are not alone,  I want to invite you all to the virtual party.   
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Post Diagnosis

Today I look like I have a severe reaction to life with my favourite t shirt on.  Its says in massive letters 'I'd rather hang with my dog'.

So, this is where I am up to with figuring things out.  What happens next?

The best way I can explain it is to give it a foundation......................

I do not go to the hairdresser.  I have always cut, coloured, shaved my own hair.  Just the thought of having to sit in a chair, look at myself in a giant mirror, have a stranger touching me whilst someone trying to chit chat with me is pretty much the Antichrist.

In my brain I have been thinking, "If I find out what is wrong with me and why I act certain ways, I can fix it".

So I have my diagnosis - check! All is going super at this point, everything should be great.

Now I am slowly realising that I still can't go to the hairdressers.

Does that make sense?

I think that sums up where I am at the moment.  I want to be able to embrace my autism.

I am trying to be more 'me' and stop putting on a face all the time but boy it is hard!

It really is tiring.  The big part of that, is the life I have built for myself is what everyone else wants me to be/do/act.  Take work for example.......I am great at my job, all things financial.  

The crux is I hate math.  I really suck at it.  I can barely scrape through a primary level education. 

Im starting to feel like its all a facade and that is what I am struggling with.  I am used to fixing things, getting results, achieving...........but here I am still shaving my own head.





Comments

  1. NikkiAugust 26, 2020 at 7:13 AM

    From someone who is living with two people on the spectrum I understand totally but I want to say please be yourself and don’t worry about what anyone thinks I’m not on the spectrum and it’s taken me years to not worry about what people think of me and now I don’t care! You a special person in your own way and I for one admire you for being honest and sharing your experience to help others!! Ps I love your hair 🤗 x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SarahAugust 26, 2020 at 8:00 AM

      Hi, Thank you so much for your kind words. My eldest daughter is on the spectrum. Whilst going through the diagnosis process with her, it was recommended that I get tested too. Here I am!

      It takes great confidence to be comfortable within yourself - well done! I hope that with time I will get there too. x

      Delete
  2. UnknownAugust 28, 2020 at 1:52 PM

    It's ok to not be comfortable going to the hairdressers. You are facing your diagnosis but it is still a part of who you are and will play a role in a your daily life. Do what makes you comfortable at the end of the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SarahAugust 29, 2020 at 10:46 AM

      Thank you for your kind words. I hoping that self acceptance will come with time. X

      Delete
  3. KimmyCakesAugust 29, 2020 at 3:37 AM

    I love this page. Don’t change! Always be yourself! Ps-I’m super impressed that your cut and shave your own hair! Your hair looks amazing in your picture! Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete

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